twenty three and minus.

v.ch — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 13:42:21 +0000

Okay, in the midst of trying to grasp what my lecturer is saying, just wanted to take a couple of minutes to write about semester 2, year 2.

Great would be too vague a word to describe this 4 months. God has been constantly holding my hand, no doubt. Even when I drifted away from his strength, relying on my own hands to fend for myself. I know we always tell ourselves, with God behind us, who can be against us? But we also forget in the most trying periods, that the only one who can sustain us is that one that we constantly forget to lean on. How ironic right? So I want to take this time, to also thank God, my good Lord, for everything this semester.

You heard my cry. Everything that I said I don’t want to ever feel again, you really didn’t allow it one bit. Even the simplest of things- I hated the dim lights at fenner hall. It was dim dark and eerie even during the day and I told God, I really cannot take it. I managed to get super super bright lights for this semester for the rooms. In fact, my window faces the morning sun ( I know some of you would hate that, but during winter, it’s really a blessing). I also told God, I never want to have that lonely feeling again. You know, those periods you wake up from naps realising that there is no one around and you just wanna cry. You have given me friends and I don’t feel that loneliness anymore.

It has been a trying period, essays, exams, presentations (6 to be exact). It has been tiring. But God has sustained me and even saw me through. I have no reason to doubt that he will continue seeing me through my last three papers. Haha. I don’t know how I’m going to handle those in three consecutive days, but I’m just gonna trust him, with of course, doing my part too. I realised how not in control I am now. I remember being able to even predict my grades in poly because literally everything was that predictable. Now, studying that whole book and memorising everything in the lecture notes is not going to help. Anything can come out. But okay, you get the drift.

So, Lord, I trust you. I remember you saying that if anything wants wisdom, ask and it shall be given unto him, but he must not doubt. I ask for wisdom now, that you will give it to me graciously.

Thankyou.

a request.

v.ch — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 08:04:40 +0000

Dear Lord,

If there is one thing you could help me with now; is to only say things which will encourage people. Because I know, these few days I have been ranting alot about a certain individual who makes me just wanna box him sometimes. Okay. Please give me the grace to be gracious to him and to stop chanting to others about his idiotic traits which affect me too. Sorry God, I think I just said something negative about him again.

Argh. Okay anyway, help me love others as myself and to be more embracing towards everyone.

Thank you father.

v.ch — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 03:04:47 +0000

Hi God, thanks for the grace you have shown. I’m undeserving but you have been merciful. I didn’t expect anything, but you just provided again. Though Lord, I think I spent too much time doing essays at the expense of my other work. Those weekly lectures. I havent listened to 2-3 i think, or maybe more. ): Nevermind, can I just trust that you are gonna see me through the rest of my studying father?

Help me to study smart, help me to understand quickly. Let me retain everything I’ve learnt. Help me remember everything Father. I’ll only get stronger out of this, like what Daniel says. The moulding and learning can only make you more tough. Yes! Lord, see me through each hour, guide me in every step. Thank you!

v.ch — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 15:25:39 +0000

Yeah. Wake up from that stupor and you’d realise that there’s more to life than that.

v.ch — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 15:23:49 +0000

Trying to make everything the same again. Trying so hard to relieve what I think was happy. Maybe happy is never enough. You know, in satiated needs and wants. You have something, you wished you had something else. When you achieve that something else, you regret not soaking in the something you had just right there. Okay what a bad analogy but anyways.

I know time is tight, but guess what, it doesn’t have to turn out this way. Valerie, wake up your idea. Find yourself again.

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v.ch — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 15:04:11 +0000

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v.ch — Wed, 04 May 2011 01:36:39 +0000

Open your eyes. Things don’t just stop there.

v.ch — Mon, 02 May 2011 14:24:30 +0000

i’m sitting at my desk, straw in mouth, drinking coke zero. i wished i could call a friend now. i’m procrastinating, because i don’t feel like studying for tmr. i sound lazy, when i say tmr can wait, and the next. i just wanna live for the moment.

maybe i haven’t prayed enough. the free time i have, i don’t use it to talk to God. i rather surf facebook, catching up on net gossip and do anything than to take my bible out to read.

i am bored, though i am supposedly busy. i am tired.

whatever.

Did e’er such love and sorrow meet?

v.ch — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 10:21:42 +0000

My richest gain, I count but loss

And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it Lord, that I should boast

Save in the death, of Christ my God

All the vain things, that charm me most

I sacrifice them to his blood.

v.ch — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 11:14:09 +0000

you know. it’s sometimes not about trying harder the next time.

either you have it or you don’t. if you’re not smart, you are really not smart. you can try again, but how far can you go? thatt much. period.